what an introvert is:
- someone who gets their energy from being alone and can get exhausted from being around people for extended periods of time
what an introvert isn’t:
- low self esteem
- hatred of people
- social awkwardness
feel ugly?? no. don’t feel ugly. make flower crown. prettiest flower crown. the best one. pretty flowers. pink????? purple flower????? blue??? make flower crown. wear it. wear it everywhere. feel gold.
Marvel Fan, Only Seen the Movies? Cool.
Marvel Fan, Only Read the Comics? Cool.
Marvel Fan, Only Seen the Cartoon? Cool.
Marvel Fan, Only Played a Game? Cool.
Any combination of the above? Cool.
Don’t be a hater.
A FUCKING PLUS. You know what my favorite thing in the WORLD is? Someone coming into my store and saying ‘HEY I REALLY LIKED THIS CHARACTER IN THIS MOVIE/SHOW/GAME, TELL ME MORE.’
Because then they get to learn about something they love, and they can tell ME things about what THEY love, and there’s so much LOVE and seriously guys, we’re all fans, we should be helping eachother, not shunning.
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
Nnnn…o? I don’t think so. But now I feel like I might be forgetting someone.
24. What are you sitting on right now?
One of the armchairs in my parents’ gloriously internet-saturated living room. Taking an online class when there’s no internet at your house is not the wisest idea.
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Tomorrow is Father’s Day, so I will be coming back here for brunch and presents! Although if it’s “have to” as in “ugh, have to do this” then that would be: Homework for the online part of Tech Writing. Ugh.
BONUS 70! How do you look right now?
Adorbs. Purple lacy tunic top and denim capris, but earlier I was wearing one of Signs’ homemade hats. Which she will be selling. And which are awesome, fabulous, AND adorable.
- 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
- 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
- 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
- 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
- 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
- 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
- 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
- 8. How often do you listen to music?
- 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
- 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?
- 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
- 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
- 13. What about ‘R’?
- 14. Can you drive a stick shift?
- 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
- 16. Are you going out of town soon?
- 17. When was the last time you cried?
- 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
- 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
- 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
- 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
- 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
- 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
- 24. What are you sitting on right now?
- 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
- 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
- 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
- 28. Do you get a lot of colds?
- 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
- 30. Does anyone hate you?
- 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
- 32. Do you like watching scary movies?
- 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
- 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
- 35. Did you have a dream last night?
- 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
- 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
- 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
- 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
- 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
- 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
- 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
- 44. What’s the best part about school?
- 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
- 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
- 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
- 48. Were you single over the last summer?
- 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
- 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
- 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
- 52. Are you nice to everyone?
- 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
- 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
- 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- 56. Do you think you like someone?
- 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
- 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
- 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
- 60. Do you hate anyone?
- 61. How’s your heart?
- 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
- 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
- 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
- 65. Are your toenails painted pink?
- 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
- 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
- 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
- 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
- 70. How do you look right now?
- 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
- 72. Can you commit to one person?
- 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
- 74. Have you ever felt replaced?
- 75. Did you wake up cranky?
- 76. Are you a jealous person?
- 77. Are relationships ever worth it?
- 78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
- 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
- 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
- 81. Last person you cried in front of?
- 82. Is there someone you will never forget?
- 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
- 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
- 85. Are you over your past?
- 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
- 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
- 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
- 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
- 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
- 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
- 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
- 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
- 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
- 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
- 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
- 97. Who do you have texts from?
- 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
- 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
- 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
- 101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
- 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
when i started watching a silly show about hot boys killing ghosts no one told me i’d be in my pajamas at 11:30 am whimpering into my clenched fists about existential battles of faith and the war between good and evil inside one lost boy’s soul
Because that’s still happening, in August. August 6th, actually, which is only nine short weeks from now. Nine weeks is how long it takes to have a baby! We could all have babies by the time the book comes out!*
And look, I know what you’re thinking. Justin, you have barely updated this inane tumblr since you packed up your meager possessions and moved 9000 miles away to a completely different continent to begin your proper married life with your hot Glaswegian wife we helped you marry over a year ago.
And you’re right, faceless hordes. You’re absolutely right. I have been remiss. I have shirked my duties so I could perform whimsical fripperies like “learning Scottish slang” and “sex humping my wife” and “getting a job in a foreign country”, and for that I apologize.
If I have let you down, let us agree that it was as a parking garage elevator lets you down. To get to your car, which is in the basement. Because I’m helpful like that. Not like your government, Western capitalism, and society at large have let you down, which is completely, and without recourse. Unlike your job prospects and hope of a happy future, ATIAC is coming back. Better than ever.** Because I love you, and miss your mute, tumblr-email-y voices.
And listen, that months-long stretch where I didn’t leave my desk for 11 hours a day while I pored over animal photos and Google image search, living on microwave meals and whiskey? That had a point, and that point is the tangible, booky version of this here tumblr, which I hope you will both preorder and enjoy in unequal measure. Apparently (and this is news to me as well as you) preorders are a huge thing now and count toward first-week sales figures, which is how in 20 years every Koresh-y cult leader will have a NYT bestseller by whipping his/her followers into an online frenzy of Amazon clicking, ensuring his/her message gets national distribution and optioned movie rights. But right here, right now, in June 2013, the power of the preorder can be used for good, not evil. You can do something like … I don’t know … preorder my stupid book, say, and the only thing that will happen is that you will get it in the mail in August and chuckle about it on the long, horrid commute to your cubicle job or college campus. Maybe use it to prop up that table leg that lost its little rubber foot and always wobbles. That’s it. No fuss, no muss, no spiritual and social revolution. Just me, you, a couple clicks and a shared grin or two.
Honestly, I’m not sure what you’ll do with an Animals Talking In All Caps book except throw it at your deadbeat boyfriend in a fit of rage but nonetheless, I’d like you to own a copy, which you can do by clicking here or here or here or here. Hell, click here or here if you like. Click wherever. It’s your computer. You click where you want. I’m not the boss of you.
How’s Scotland? I pretend you ask. Lovely. it’s just lovely. Thanks for asking.
What have you been doing? Oh, nothing. Just cooking and reading Orwell and touching my wife’s boobs. Taking pictures of things with my birthday camera. Getting a cooking job at a fancy Glaswegian restaurant. Stuff like that. How about you?
Really? That sounds cool / horrible / interesting / boring.***
But back to the matter(s) at hand, which would be this website and its book, and my ability to update and entertain you, the following “countdown to publication” weeks will see the following things:
- A new tumblr theme for ATIAC, which should be up and running.
- Some discarded, rejected, dejected, unused but not unloved covers for the ATIAC book, which did not make the cut for various reasons.
- Some new entries, as well as some old entries. Some animals, talking, in all caps. As it should be.
- Little teeny tiny bracketed text beneath the captions that says ‘preorder the book’ like this: [preorder the book] which is an eensy bit annoying but not really because it’s so small (which is a decent insult for your ex’s penis). I’m sorry. I have to put it there, according to my publishers (which is a decent line to use if you have a penis and you’re trying to kick it with someone).
- Possible photo/caption contests, or some kind of contest, because people like contests (this is also according to my publishers, who think they know all sorts of things).
Don’t worry, though. Mostly it will just be ATIAC as it’s been presented to you since time immemorial. In capslock, for no reason, because I enjoy it.
I will be working 55 hours per week every week, though, so if some entries are just a spider crab going “BLEEEAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH” or “PLZ KILL ME I NEED SLEEEEEEEEP” that’s why.
I miss you guys. I do.
Apologies again for the extended absence. Blame Scotland.
Love and kisses and talking fishes,
* I’ve never had kids but I read a lot of science books, so I’m basically a science expert about babies.
** As good as before, or slightly less good.
*** Pick one.
Hugging shorter people and resting your head on theirs
Hugging taller people and having your head against their chest
Hugging people your height and pressing your face against their shoulder
Hugging people and getting picked up by them
“A villain is just a victim whose story hasn’t been told.”
OR THEY’RE JUST A RAGING SOCIOPATH AND YOU CAN COMPLETELY LIKE THEM AS A CHARACTER AND EVEN SYMPATHIZE WITH THEM AT TIMES, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE A ~VICTIM.
“You don’t really understand an antagonist until you understand why he is a protagonist in his own version of the world.” - John Rogers
Lets play a game.
The FIRST power you get is the power you have in a zombie apocalypse.
Reblog and add your power, how does it help you survive?
Consumptive biological generation
Eat them before they eat me
The black light virus
The ability to create things out of pure disease
The ability to retract one’s own head.
Elemental manipulation. The ability to control the elements.
I’m gonna fuck some zombies up with fire
The power to regenerate using blood
Urban Physiology. The power to become or mimic the traits of an urban area.
SCREW ALL Y’ALL, I’M-A BE THE CITY